Tuesday, May 22, 2012
How We Love Our Kids Book Review
Paperback: 304 pages
Publisher: WaterBrook Press (March 15, 2011)
One Small Change in How You Love One Big Change in your Kids
Having problems with your kids? What if you are the problem and you just can’t see it? How We Love Our Kids offers a unique approach, to help you as a parent transform your kids by making specific changes in how you love. It’s the only book specifically for parents that reveals the unseen forces that shape every interaction with your kids.
• Identify which of the five love styles you have.
• Discover the surprising dynamics that shape your parenting.
• Get rid of your “buttons” so your kids can’t push them.
• Create a close connection with your kids that will last a lifetime.
• Learn the seven gifts every child needs.
Based on years of research in the area of attachment and bonding, How We Love Our Kids shows parents how to overcome the predictable challenges that arise out of the five love styles and helps parents cultivate a secure, deep connection with a child of any age. Retool your reactions and refocus on how you love. Start today. Watch your kids flourish and thrive as they receive what was missing in your love.
With four self-assessments and powerful application tools to use with children of all ages.
I am always intrigued by parenting books because there really are so many different love styles. As parents we all have our individual methods of raising our children. One thing we don't really focus on is the fact that our children's behavior may not be due to them but rather due to us. Not to say that we come from dysfunctional families, but rather pointing out that no matter how we realize it our past sometimes repeats in our future. A great example is how when we are young we may tell ourselves we aren't going to be like our mother or father and as we become parents we catch ourselves doing the same things.
I love how this book truly helps the parent and instead of focusing on changing the child, it focuses on changing the parent.
One thing I have instituted into my household from the book is a list of emotions. Towards the beginning of the book Milan's son is upset due to a school incident so Milan has him go to the refrigerator where there is a list of emotions and choose what emotions he is feeling so they can talk about it. Since my oldest child is 4 I have a list of "emotion faces", which are drawings of various happy, mad, sad, frustrated, silly, etc. faces with the words underneath. When tantrum time rolls around we visit this list, he chooses his emotions and we talk through it. It doesn't always work right away, but it has had a positive effect for him.
I also loved the fact that it didn't seem as if this book was "lecturing" but
it felt as if the authors were actually speaking to you. There were many personal experiences throughout the book that made it more personal, and easy to relate to. There are discussion questions at the end of each chapter which would make this a great book for any group gatherings. I think this is a good book for any parent who wants to better their parenting styles or to learn better ways to communicate with your child, and ways to make it easy for them to talk to you.
This book is available in: PRINT or eBOOK
Check out my review on Goodreads
Waterbrook Multnomah Publishers has provided me with a complimentary copy of this book for review purposes. All opinions expressed are mine alone.